We have our entitlements. Things we think we deserve. Certain kinds of behaviour, or rules the rest of the world needs to follow because we believe that we fit somewhere into a hierarchy.
The white Americans that are here at the guest house understand the world racial hierarchy in their favour. I haven’t noticed this in reference to me, but have observed it while watching them interact with Thai people and culture.
One said, “I should buy a cheap hair straightener, the Thai girls look much better than I expected. I feel gross”
The other said “Me too, but that’s a waste of money. We’ll just wear hats and be cool because we are Americans.”
The guy chimed in “It doesn’t matter, the Thai guys will think your hot, because you are white.”
Then he looked at me and said, “well you too. Americans I mean.”
I am Canadian.
What they said may be true, thought there is much more to it than that. The fact that they know it though, makes it seem somewhat insidious. Though there is no heinous hierarchy they are imposing. We are all participating in it.
They walk in the idle of the road, like the sidewalks aren’t there for them. As though they can do whatever they please.
Many have come here unwilling to mesh. Unwilling to take Thai understanding and make it their own, though they intend to, and are, working here. They will not take a situation and adapt to it, but expect the situation to adapt to them. In their minds they have put themselves in a place of importance.
This just doesn’t happen only with Americans, or white people, or travellers. Most of the people I come into contact with assume that the standard they measure themselves against in their mind has something to do with how other view them as well.
A girl here, one that I like, has travelled to Thailand from America to teach monks. It shocks her that there are not more games or accessories for her to use in class. She is shocked that the lesson plans are boring. When I tell her that the roommate I had before taught monks and simply went to the market and bought supplies, she scoffs. “Why should I have to pay my own money to do that? It should be there!” She takes little or no notice of the fact that she is not a teacher, instead a child herself, and they are employing her volunteer desires. In a monastery that blindly accepts free help from wherever it comes, it doesn’t seem that surprising that they lack supplies. Perhaps she could trade in her Ed Hardy binder, to buy a game for the kids. Or even make a divergent lesson plan that isn’t boring. She feels that because she is new, and because she wants to enjoy herself, the school should have what she wants made available to her. She thinks she is entitled to things that don’t apply to her situation, only to the standard in her mind.
Part 2
There is a part of entitlement that assumes lack of consideration for others. It is a selfish action that can be fully understood only in the brain of the enactor. Sometimes, when waiting in line for things, you’ll notice that person who just walks up and plunks there business down on the counter before you. They may or may not be aware of you, but they never see you as being as much of a person as them. They view themselves as being entitled to your spot in line. As though whatever came ahead of you were there designation. True, the person could simply be busy, or just plain rude. But in either case, they are ignoring the fact that lines have designations of first, second and so on. Instead they are looking at the inner hierarchy that puts them in a standard ahead.
When this happens, I often end up thinking that it is a race, or age thing. But that is because I live in a country primarily inhabited by aging white baby boomers. I think this actually happens everywhere, and it isn’t a matter or race per say. There are many ways to choose to classify yourself amongst other humans in other setups of rank.
Perhaps the butter, thinks they are more important because they are rich. Or because they are beautiful. Or because they are pitiful. Whatever the case may be, it has everything to do with their perceptions of themselves much more than it has to do with you at all.
The reason that some of these entitlements endure, is because they are then enforced with other peoples behaviour. Not just the actions of the person at the top of the hierarchy, but also by the actions of the person at the bottom.
Part 3
I think that I am entitled to happiness because I have begun to turn my life into something more presentable. I have done away with the bad, so the bad stuff should do away with it’s connection to me right? Not quite. I notice that I become incensed easily when best laid plans fall to dust. It’s like I think the universe know owes me a smooth ride because I have cleaned up my act. Expectation and entitlement go hand in hand. Both are jokes in the face of life. (Though jokes can sometimes seem cruel when they are played on you)
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